You weren’t supposed to die

To the little girl with the pink beads in her hair,

That bullet wasn’t meant for you. I just had to tell you that. I wanted to stop, I wanted to go back. I told Ty to turn the car around but he wouldn’t, he just kept screaming about payback and The Kings coming after us and how they recognized our car and that we were dead anyway if we went back. I didn’t care. I saw you drop to the ground and I just…that bullet wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for somebody else, he lives in the house next door to yours. I bet you didn’t even know he was there. I bet you had no idea and now you have no idea why you’re dead. I want to tell you I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t be enough. You didn’t deserve it. I guess, at this point, I’m not even sure he deserved it. I always accepted exactly what Curtis told me, I always knew he was telling me the truth but now…now you’re dead and I’m not sure of anything anymore.

I can’t sleep now. All I hear is the sound of that gunshot and the way your mom screamed so loud when she saw you hit the ground. She screamed and cried and I swear the sound followed us all the way back across town. I was at the funeral. I don’t know if you would have wanted me there. You didn’t even know me. And I risked being knifed right there in the church if Heavy D or Lamar had seen me there, but I didn’t care. I just…I wanted to tell you is all. I wanted to make sure you knew none of this was your fault. And that that bullet wasn’t meant for you.

And that I’m sorry.

Marcus