Posts Tagged ‘Sister’
Dead, but I owe you a box of candy
My lovely sis:
I am confused of where to address this letter. I can’t address it to where I know you aren’t, and I truly don’t know where you are. In my life, I have never believed in reincarnation, but allow me to make an exception this one time. Whoever you are, wherever you might be, I strongly hope that you’ll spare a minute to read this letter. I just want to let you know that I have a debt to repay you.
Maybe you don’t remember this. Once you went with dad out, although am sure where it was, but I think it was to the corner store to purchase something. On that day, he had bought you candy, the same way he had done for me the many occasions I went out with him. As father and daughter strolled back home, dad realized that you hadn’t unwrapped it. “ No! For Jim”, you had fiercely had innocently declared, closing your tiny tightly on the candy. Little did you know that in a matter of months, your life would remain forever unwrapped, just like the candy you kept unwrapped for me.
“It’s just a candy piece, bro. Why are you getting worked up for nothing?” you ask. No, dear sis, there is a lot more. You didn’t get your favorite crayons, so you could get me a drawing book. You didn’t ask dad to buy you a Barbie doll, so he would save to buy me a tricycle. And, every time you came close to it-you surely liked to play with its bell, mom told me- I’d softly shoo you, maybe as a show of gratitude for the candy you had saved for me! Indeed, sibling rivalry, what else is new? Let’s see…well, if sis you had waited-the sad moment was yet to come. Here are a few lines from your mum’s message read during your funeral, which says it all:
…
Where has the loving sister gone?
Gone! To the land of no return!
…
As a young girl, she opted to miss the bus:
So that her brother got enough milk,
So that her brother got enough rice to eat!
…
Anne deliberately missed the school bus,
So that her younger brother would get on…
‘Reason:
She didn’t have crayons,
She didn’t have nice clothes,
She didn’t have a drawing book,
Then how would she get on?
…
Sis, did you ever get your milk? Did you ever get crayons, clothes and a drawing book to go to school? Did anybody ever buy you the Barbie doll you always wished to have?
What of your ultimate sacrifice? Well, can I call it a sacrifice, can I? Any way, you had no other choice in the matter. Sis, did you by any chance read my post, Anne’s sacrifice? Not quite! If by any chance you have, then by now you know, when, and why you died. I must admit that it is not pretty, and I would have wished that you don’t read it, but for the pictures of you that I saw brought back all the sad memories of you.
Please sis, would you let me know where you are? So I can send a box of candies for all the love you gave me. Maybe, that’s the least I can do for you!
Lots of love sis,
Jimmy
0Forgiveness by Death
Dear Cara,
I wish you well. These final moments have made me wonder where I will end up after I die. You would probably say I’m going to Hell. I wanted to say I am sorry. If you haven’t already torn up this piece of paper, than let me tell you my dying wish. Forgive me. I had no right to take your sister from you. If there really is a heaven, than I know she is there. A preacher told me that if I ask Him to, God would forgive all of my sins. I can’t bring myself to believe that. What I did was the worst of things. I have seen the wrong in what I have done. This life is precious, but now I am glad that it is ending. I am ready to go home. I know this is no excuse, but I was not brought up in the best of homes. My childhood is full of pain and suffering, and my pain finally hit a boiling point. I hope that somewhere in your heart you can forgive me. I know that you cannot forgive what I have done, but forgive whatever piece of humanity is left in me. This is my dying wish. Please don’t live in fear of people like me. Life is to short to fear anything. Live your life for all it is worth. I hope that you can possibly find comfort in my death.
With the utmost respect,
Russell
0Why haunt me… even in death?
Dear Anne,
In this state of confusion, I can’t exactly recall when I saw you, but all know it was a good experience for both of us. I can’t recall the last time I saw your bright face and smiled. In fact, I can’t remember any good times we shared as brother and sister except for one. So I strongly believe that since you’ve passed and will never come back to us, I owe you that much…to recall my one sweet memory of you.
I think, I was about 7 or 8, which would have undoubtedly made you 21 or 22. I think by then you were still living at our home with mum and “dad”. I clearly recall that dad was on his perpetual “business trip.” I remember you were looking at me with aunty Monty’s daughter Leona. On mom’s bed, we played mad libs, and we laughed and laughed and laughed…
In my mind, I still have memories of 1999; when I saw you last. In real sense, I didn’t see you in a conversational sense. On mom’s porch you were seated with your 6 children. After being evicted from yet another place, by the animal of a husband you married. By then I was in grad school and mom told me not to let you in, because you would not leave.
So I ignored you, drove up the driveway and parked mom’s car behind the water tank and went inside the back door. Up to to this day, I don’t know why I didn’t turn any lights. Perhaps not to give you a signal that I was inside and you were outside. Regardless, I called the police to help remove you and your children removed from our compound.
That was the last time I saw you in person, and little did I know that the police would only present note you left on the door:
“Dear Mark, I saw you enter the house from the backdoor. Just letting you know that I never came to bother you and mom, but rather spend the last breath at a place I once knew as home, and leave my 6 children where there mom was denied entry. I am sure that when you have children of your own you will know why I did this.”
I have spent my whole live trying to be the opposite of you, but I must say I now understand why you took your life. My reaction towards you on that day is haunting you are haunting me.
Here’s to you again dead sister…
Mark
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