The Death Letters Project was started as an artistic expression of the wondrous nature of life and experience, and to help along the stages of grief.
The goal of the project is to collect death letters - letters we would write over a death of a loved one, or the impending journey onward of someone terminal including ourselves.
This is a community for you to express yourself.
Read a letter. Write a letter.
This is a place to celebrate life. If you are depressed and are thinking of committing suicide, please Click Here - You are a wonderful person, believe in yourself. Pain shall pass, life is beautiful, and it always goes on.
You don’t know me, but I love you. I’ve always been too scared, too much of a coward to ever come out and tell you, but I figured, at this point, I haven’t really got much to lose. We work in the same building on the same days and we have ridden in the same elevator about a hundred times in the past two years. I always get off before you, and I wonder how much longer you ride that little car after I get off on the sixteenth floor. How much higher does it take you? Are you an investment banker on the twenty-third floor? A lawyer on the forty-second? You always wear such nice tailored suits, I guess I always assumed that you must be a part of something important.
The crazy thing is, I don’t even know if your name is Charlie. I’ve always called you that, in my head, when I catch myself thinking about you. It’s the nickname I’ve given you for when I imagine all the years we could spend together, all the things we would do and see together. You look like a Charlie to me.
I know this sounds insane but, I think maybe I deserve a little crazy now. I went to the doctor about that bruise on my hip that won’t seem to go away and…well, I just decided if this is all the time I’ve got left, I’m going to live now. I mean really live. I’m going to take the leaps I was always too scared to jump, I’m going to try the things I’ve always been too shy to give a chance.
You’re one of those jumps Charlie. You’re one of those chances. I know it’s not fair, and I know it’s crazy and I’m sorry. But if you’re looking for some craziness in your life too, meet me in the lobby at five.
I’d love to learn your real name.
You remember that time I got in a fight with my Dad and you were at your window and I was at mine and we whispered to each other across the dark all night long?
That was the moment I fell in love with you.
I love your red hair, I love your green eyes, I love the freckles you get when you spend too much time in the sun, I love how you hate your curls. I love the songs you love to sing on the radio, I even love the way you never realized how much I love you.
God, I’m starting to sound like lines from a teen flick aren’t I? I can’t really help it. Sorry. I’m writing you this because the doctors said it helps the healing process to get all your secrets out in the open and it stands a very marginal possibility of improving my chances for survival if this treatment works. And that’s a very big if. So I figured, what have I got to lose, right?
So, just so you know, I love you. And thanks for being my friend all these years. I know that sounds really dorky, but I mean it. You’ve been great. We’ve been partners in just about every assignment we’ve ever been given and if it weren’t for you my GPA would be a lot more of a problem, that’s for sure. And I always knew if I ever needed anything, you would be right there, standing at the ready to give it to me. And I hope you know I would do the same for you.
Don’t feel obligated to act on this letter at all, by the way. It’s just something I had to get out there. Don’t feel like you have to reciprocate. You can even pretend you never got this letter the next time you come to see me, if you want. I won’t call you on it. I just knew that if I die, which I hope I don’t, but if I do, I just knew I couldn’t die without having told you.
So now I have.
See you soon Amy,
I wrote this letter to tell you all the things that I wanted to say to you, hoping that someday this letter will reach you. I still can’t believe it. I miss you everyday. Sometimes when I remember something funny I still think of telling it to you first, only to remember that you’re gone, never to return again, never to share with me another laugh, another story, never to hear your chuckles or see your smiling face. Remember the necklace that we saw at the antique shop? I bugged you for a week to buy me that necklace but you said that it was too expensive. I get mad and didn’t want to see you but you patiently waited outside our house until I got out. You serenade me with my favorite song and promised that you will work hard to save money and buy me whatever I want.
My birthday came and you asked me if we can celebrate it together. We watched a movie and dined in an expensive restaurant. I was anticipating the entire evening for you to give me the necklace, but still nothing, and my birthday was almost done. I got off your car quietly, my feelings hurt. You followed me to the door and I noticed you are holding a box. My heart skipped a beat. You said “happy birthday Sweetheart” and kissed me on the cheeks. I opened the box while smiling widely thinking it’s the necklace, but I was wrong, it was a pair of ugly gloves! I almost cried when I saw it but I kept my composure, smiled awkwardly and said thank you. I still remember your last words before heading back to your car, you said that your gift might not be much, but that is something I deserve. I was so mad at you that I didn’t wait for you to leave and slammed the door on your face. I shoved the gloves inside the closet and cursed you silently. You tried calling me but I just ignored it. I went to sleep hurt and mad at you. You got into an accident that night, and now you’re gone.
After your funeral I went inside my room and opened the closet to look at our pictures inside my closet’s door, that’s when I saw the box with the gloves inside. I opened it and took off the gloves to try it on. While wearing it I felt something inside, when I checked my tears started flowing. It is the cute necklace with the butterfly pendant! How can you play such a prank? You should have told me, if you did I’d probably invited you inside, you might ended spending the night with me, maybe you’re still here right now, if only you told me what’s inside the ugly gloves. But I know it was my fault, I should have been contented, I should have invited you inside even if you didn’t gave me what I wanted. Now a month has passed and I am still wearing the cute necklace with the butterfly pendant, and I can still hear your voice clearly, I wanted to say sorry for not being a good partner. Sorry that I hurt your feelings, for being so stubborn and selfish. I feel guilty for what happened to you, I know you don’t want me to blame myself. I can’t help it, I always think of that night. I hope you can forgive me, I love you and you will always be here in my heart. I will cherish all the memories that we shared. I love you and I miss you very much.
Hi babe, if you’re reading this letter then probably I am dead. It also means I will never have the time to show you how much I love you. The day I found out that I had cancer and was going to die, the first thing that came to my mind was you. I still want to be with you for a long time, I wanted to marry you and have kids with you. I wanted to travel and go to beautiful places with you. I am sorry that you need to quit your job so that you can be with me. Sorry that because of me you have to feel the pain of losing someone you love. Please be strong for me and I know that someday you will find a man that will treat you the way I treated you.
You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You are my life, the beat of my heart, the color of my world and the love of my life. I will miss your smile, your laugh, your hug and your kiss. I will miss the times when we get out on the roof and watch the moon and stars in the beautiful night sky. You made me see how much happy life can be. You have shown me love and so much more. You are my whole world and no one can replace you here in my heart.
You are the reason that I kept fighting this illness. You told me that this was just a trial that we need to conquer. Every night I pray to God, asking to free me of this disease, so I can be with the people I love. I guess this is already my time, and I don’t blame anyone for this. I wanted to say something and I mean this more than I ever did, I love you so much! I know you are strong and I know you will be alright but whenever you feel lonely, remember that I will always be right beside you. This is my goodbye but my love for you will never die.
Love always and forever,
I love the flowers you sent me. They brighten up considerably what has become a rather depressing room. I also liked the accompanying note; encouraging words are always a pleasant distraction from the harsh reality of my situation.
I am writing in return because I believe it is time to tell you the truth. Two truths, actually. You’ve been so good to me throughout this entire ordeal, and I believe it would be wrong of me to mislead you any further. I am dying, Elizabeth. Very soon now, I understand. What started as seemingly mild heartburn has escalated to be so much more, and I do not have much time left because of it. Every day I grow a little weaker, and it is all I can do to be writing this now. That being said, there is one more truth I that I must tell you before I pass.
You have been there for me through it all. From the time I broke my arm in that bicycle accident to my recovery from having my wisdom teeth removed, you have cared for me and been a better friend than I could have ever dreamed of. Over the course of several years we have come to know each other quite well, I believe, and I am eternally grateful for all you have done. And I know that this is something that is usually said when the other person is in the same room, but given the circumstances I don’t think it wrong to skip over tradition and speak my mind through this letter. I love you, Elizabeth. I have for a very long time. I wish from the depths of my heart that I would have told you sooner, but I was afraid to. It’s ironic, is it not? As if telling you could have in any way worsened my situation.
I do not know how you feel about me, but I hope that you reciprocate my feelings. If you do, please come tell me. Perhaps we can still spend a little time together. But if you do not, I suppose that in a few weeks it won’t matter anymore anyways.
Most sincerely and humbly yours,
My sweet husband, on the eve of the anniversary of your death I find myself missing you so much. It’s natural, I know, but I still can’t help myself from succumbing to these feelings. They are crippling sometimes, honey. There are days I can’t get through the day without crying. I miss your touch. I miss the way you knew damn near everything about everything. The toilet broke the other night and I almost lost my mind. Honey, it took a long time until I could calm down and figure out how to fix it. You used to swoop right in and fix everything so now without you around I am almost at a loss. I hate to say that I took your usefulness for granted when you were alive, but I think I did. I am sorry for that.
You were my rock for years and now I feel stranded. Baby, our children seem to be doing well but I can’t tell. They seem distant, I suppose going through the same grief that I am. I just wish we were all together. We’re all so spread out across the country; I think if we were together I might feel better. I just can’t bring myself to ask the children to come back home. Ella’s in New York and John is in California, both doing amazing. They really are, honey. I am proud of them and you would be too. I suppose I should be wrapping this us, I am going to visit your grave in a bit. I love you honey. I feel you with me and I can’t wait until we are together again.
With all my love.
To my little angel,
It will be OK. I need you to hang in there for me. They can’t send me home for another month, but soon we will be playing tea party like we used to. All you need to do is hold on. Be strong! You are the most perfect daughter in the world, and I will never regret having you in my life. Whenever you feel pain, think of how I used to take you to the park. The doctors were wrong when they said you wont make it. I love you so much. I still have the teddy bear you gave me. He got a little dirty, but he’s a trooper just like you. I can’t wait to tell you about Afghanistan. The people there are amazing. I met a little girl there who was your age. She told me about her dolls, and can you believe she already has to work? I wish I could show you around the world. When you get better I can take you anywhere you want to go. I can take you to Hersey Pennsylvania. I will buy you all of the chocolate you can possibly eat. After that we can got to Canada or Spain. If I could do it all over than I would spend every waking moment with you. You are the most perfect daughter ever. Please wait for me. You are my world. You mean everything to me. Be strong. I love you.
I’m sitting upright here in this hospital ward, coughing up mucus and awaiting a lung transplant that probably won’t arrive in time to save my life. I wish you could be here; of course the nurses and doctors are kind and professional but they are emotionally removed from CF and my mortality. I’m sure they must do that to insulate themselves from the fact that they deal with death almost on a daily basis. It just doesn’t pay emotionally to become close to people who have a penchant to die.
These sinus headaches and struggles to catch my breath while my face is strapped behind a nebulizer only serve to reinforce the distance between us yet I think of how we are intertwined together. You gave me your love despite knowing my condition and prognosis. You gave me your love despite your parents actively discouraging any relationship between us. You gave me your love despite the almost constant demands of your career and I know you are trying your best to see me again before it is too late. What a horrible time for a transatlantic flight to be canceled.
So, my dearest Alexandra, please know that I will savor your memory while I await your arrival to my side. If I should shrug this mortal coil before you can deliver yourself to me, I know in my heart that we will meet again on the other side of this world we currently find ourselves in. We tried our best to live normal lives unencumbered by medical limitations or people’s expectations. We succeeded in creating our own special existence for no one but ourselves. Your parents may consider it selfish but our love overcame the obstacles others set before us.
Should the need arise, please cast my ashes at our favorite picnic spot on Barton Creek, the place where we first made love and shared so many good times. You may have to wait for a few months for the water level to rise to where the stream flows again, but that’s okay. My soul will flow again once it is unrestrained by the deterioration of this tired body of mine.
I love you with all my heart and soul,
Your dearest Joshua
For the last two hours I’ve been staring at this blank piece of paper. I have so many things to tell you, yet nothing seems right. There are no words to describe how I feel.
I am sorry for not returning your calls. You called probably hundred times but I think it will be easier for both of us to do it this way. As wonderful as you are, you would want to stay and be here with me to watch me die but I love you too much to let that happen. You’ve done enough. An angel would not fill your shoes.
I was trying to hide my cancer for as long as I could but I saw it in your eyes every time you looked at me that you knew. You will never understand my decision but I decided long time ago that I don’t want you to stick around for this. You have your whole life in front of you and your job now is to live it. And if you respect my wishes, you’ll do exactly that.
I’ve spent a wonderful year with you. You brought so much love to my life; it’s crazy. I cherished every moment with you. You are a true friend and I would not be able in million years to give back what you gave me. What a pathetic way to say it but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Please, do not pity the dead and don’t go into that black hole. I will always live in the warmth of your heart. But there is plenty of room there for another woman. Don’t close it down. You have the biggest heart I know.
Do not ever lose that smile. I dare you! It is the one thing that never annoyed me about you. I’ll always love you, Randy. Live a happy life.
My dear daughter,
I have always thought that I have known what a father would do for a daughter. Now I can say that I was dead wrong. Until I saw the sweet blue of your eyes and felt the soft touch of your tiny fingertips on my hand, I knew nothing of love. The most painful part of knowing that my journey on this earth is about to end is that I know that it will affect your life forever. I wont be there to take you to your first day of school. To be truthful, I selfishly wanted to feel you hesitate to let go of my hand when I walked you through the doors on your first day. I wont get to see you walk down the steps in your prom dress, or take you driving for the first time in an empty parking lot. I wont get to walk you down the aisle or give a toast on your wedding day. I wont be able to help you fix the plumbing, or install a ceiling fan when you get your first home. I am being robbed of the hundreds of moments that I could have shared with you. Although you may have only known me for what is looking like a few months, know that I love you more than anything, and although I cannot be physically there with you, I will always be there in your heart edging you on to make a choice out of passion, not logic. Life is too short to do something that will not make you happy, believe me. I could spend a lifetime writing to you, but it is getting late, and my arm is getting weak.
Love with all of my being,